I am the new James Bond villain.

As a guy, one of the greatest unsolved mysteries are girls emotions. We just don't get it. Men are rational. Females are emotional. End of story.

I say this because as the father of 2 young girls, I sometimes ask WTF just happened!? My oldest is almost 4 and I find myself approaching her with trepidation because I'm not sure whether I'm going to to get the biggest smile and hug in the world, or whether hell itself has just opened up and a new Chucky movie is in the making, with me as the bad guy.

Sometimes, both emotions happen within the same encounter. All will be going rosy and in her mind Tayla-Jean has already nominated me for Dad of the Year... and then like someone flicks a switch, I realise that coffee mug with "I love Dad" on it has been ripped out of my fingers and I am arch enemy number 1.

With my bald head, all I need is a white fluffy cat and I think she'd see me as the evil Ernst Blofeld (the villain in the James Bond movie Thunderball):

Actually, I'm allergic to cats, so maybe she sees me as a similar villain, except in our household I am Blofeld with a chihuahua on my lap?

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